Offline Social Networks Could Be Launching Near You

A middle-aged visionary has launched an offline service called ‘pub’, which allows friends to interact in a building.

An overweight, balding 46-year-old man sees ‘pub’ (his local pub) as a place where people can verbally communicate while drinking beer.

He said: “There’s Steak Night on Tuesdays and a ska band every third Friday. Hopefully we’re getting the toilets done next month because they’re a bit grim at the moment.”

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A 24-year old female blogger commented: “I love ‘pub’ because it’s so interactive and exciting. For example, my friend will say something about her life, and then I comment, and then she comments back, and then I comment, and so on.”

“It’s an amazing platform for trumpeting my half-baked politics and making vague statements about being unhappy so my friends feel obliged to pay me some attention.”

“Often I’ll say something and a total stranger will chime in with a comment like ‘Why don’t you crawl under a rock and die, you ugly bitch?’ So it’s not scarily different to the internet.”

However police have warned about the potential dangers of ‘pub’: “People in ‘pub’ aren’t always who they seem to be. A middle-aged man could claim to be a small girl. Stay alert, use your eyes.”